I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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