My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
