you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
