Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
