My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am spending my child support on dildos
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
