we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
