Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he told me I talked like a deaf person
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
