When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
