Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
