I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
