she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
