I'm gonna have a badass scar
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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