I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
