I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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