he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
