You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
