Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
