you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
