I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
