i was rollin on her like bob the builder
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
