So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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