Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
