Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
