The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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