Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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