Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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