we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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