Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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