So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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