he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
