I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
