I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
