First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
