My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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