the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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