This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
