Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
