What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
