I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
