Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He did a backflip because drugs
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
