dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I look better un-naked...
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
