youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
