Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
