Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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