walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
