You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
