Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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