I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize