They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
