So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
