I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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